Happiness - A real gem

 

The purpose of our lives is to be happy.

                                    -  Dalai Lama

Happiness can keep you physically fit and mentally sharp as well. Now, how to be happy is the real question. Happiness is from within. Every person has different reasons to be happy. But, the soul reason to be happy is ‘to be satisfied’. The one who is not satisfied can’t be happy as per my perception. For some people, when they get money, status and power, they get happy. But, these kind of people will certainly look for more money, a better status than the existing one and more power, which in turn make them unsatisfied and which will bring unhappiness at some point of time. Since, I am from a rural part of the country, I have seen smile and happiness in the faces of the people (mazdoors) who are getting paid lower than the daily wages as decided by the Govt of India time to time. I have also seen the faces of some of the dignified persons with a handsome money as a part of their salary along with a good status. Believe me, I have seen crying them without their faults. Their smiles, happiness are always covered under their responsibilities, lack of sleep due to extended working hours etc.There is nothing like money, status and power can make you happy in a long run. 

I have seen people going to gym to get a good body figure. People often avoid their favourite sweets, chocolates etc to get the desired body figure. If you are happy with the process (i.e. going to gym, running like a dog, not eating your favourite chicken biryani) then you should continue with the process. But, if you are not happy with the process, you can’t continue with that for a long period of time, so please don’t start it. Better, look for processes which will keep you happy and will result into your desired thing, i.e. a good body figure. It may be playing your favourite sports which not only give you happiness at the time of playing (the process) but also will get the desired body figure (result). 

            How much quality time you spend with your loved ones, your family etc is more important than how much you are being paid or how much power you have bestowed upon. Because, as said earlier, the money, power etc can’t keep you happy for a long time. 

            While choosing our career, we generally focus on money, status etc, as these things bring a smile for a while when you think of them. But in a long term, it can be complicated. To my perception, an organisation which can pay you a balanced salary and which can provide you a 8 hrs work + 8 hrs family time + 8 hrs sleep can make a happier version of yourself. 

            Generally, the management of 8 hrs work is looked after by the top level management of the organisation. So, we shouldn’t think about those 8 hrs. But the rest 16 hrs we should manage in a way that can ultimately bring happiness to ourselves along with our near and dear ones. So, we should develop skills of managing those 16 hours vis-à-vis the salary we are being paid. No salary is small or big, it depends how much satisfied we are. No post/status/power is small or big, it depends how much contented we are. 

            Life is not worth if we are not happy. So, always try to do things which make you happy along with your near and dear ones. Don’t think more about 2Ps i.e. Paisa and Power because these are the things which generally are the reasons behind every damn bad relations/unhappiness.  

P.S:- Views are strictly personal in nature. It may vary from person to person.

Life inside an empty ciggerette packet

 

Drama, poetry, lust, gluttony, sex, frustration, depression, restlessness and those smokes of desire swirls like venomous snakes. The night is dark, the urban haze is creating cacophony. The shadows of death linger on. Heart burns slowly, the brain getting seduced involuntarily. Hallucinations, forgetfulness becomes your only acquaintance. You keep walking through the misty valleys, unknown territories, and those strange boundaries.

You take a long drag, puff out your agony. You aren’t born lonely, you are molded my destiny. You may not be the saddest but your sadistic way makes you an escape. You crave for smiles and love but your mind never accepts the approaching brightness. You love to stay amid darkness. The smokes slowly fade down in your room but the smell lingers on.

You aren’t frightened by skeletons; you become an urban ghost. Your infatuation becomes your love. Your cough accompanies you everywhere, every time. You just need no reason to inhale dusk. You become active after a short fag, your heart quivers but your mind smiles. Your fingers stink, your body becomes cold, and you still love to arouse yourself with those finished sticks. The butt! You love to kiss it. You aren’t satisfied till you reach the end. Your wait for the next never diminishes. You can go on and on. Nothing soothes your soul more than those killing white air. 

You talk about pink moon; you never miss a chance to appreciate those inglorious thin long pieces of desire. You crave for them at night, you can’t work without them, you become helpless, you crawl like a dying insect, and you never give up. You hate to see those burned cigarette butts resting unattended and those used match sticks dirtying your preserved melancholy.

Suddenly, the wind changes direction. The haze becomes fire. There’s no life within an empty cigarette packet but we hardly try to peep inside…

And though, nobody is complaining. Why should I ???

 

I am hungover !

I have the worst headache in the history of headaches, or so I think. Except, well, now I feel like it’s some kind of a hangover, but I didn’t even drink anything last night. At least I should have, and then it could have been justified.
But I think I know what I have.
It’s called, “I miss you  and all the fun we had” syndrome.

Yes, I'm hungover from all the amazing times we shared !

What's up ?

XYZ: Hey, How are you?
Me: Hi, am fine.. What about you?
XYZ: Okies… chal raha hain… aur batao… wassup?
Me: Nothing much; work pressure :-(

----xxx----

ABC: Hiiiiiiiiiii, ki khobor? (what news?)
Me: The same… too much work pressure :-(

----xxx----

Nowadays, I am trying to figure out better ways to say the same old thing… may be a better way to start the same old conversation… ! May be becoz its a change in working atmosphere or its a change in the other (hidden) aspects of life.

1. My life sucks, instead of “am fine”
2. I guess, tomorrow I am going to commit suicide!
3. Don’t ask such silly questions (to ki khobor)
4. I am up to something big… will let you know later (and hope that the person dies of curiosity)
5. Can’t disclose.. state top secret (in answer to wassup)

I can’t think of more… Any help please ? (you can help me by commenting; plz help !)

Its 26th !

Today morning when I logged in to Facebook, I saw a tagline of Varun that is, "It's technically Republic Day. I expect the fake patriotism starting NOW." And Yes, he is very correct. From yesterday evening I am listening the songs, "Ae mere watan ke logon...", "Kar chale hum....", "Saare jahan se accha hindustan hamara...." and I am sure that tomorrow when I will cross by the same path, I am definitely goin to listen "Munni badnam hui, or sheela ki jawani" from the same sound systems. Thats what the "Fake Patriotism". Someone goin to hoist the flag but he is waiting for the fucking smoke to end. Thats wat the "Fake Patriotism". The Patriotic songs everywhere, the rally of school children, Some of the words from the big officials, which suffixed "ghor chinta wyaqt ki hai" with every sentence. They are not concerned about the solutions but they are concerned about their lectures. To add some masala in their lectures they generally suffix their sentences with "ghor chinta wyaqt ki hai". Fuck !
And the "forwarded" text messages, coming to me in every 10 minutes about today's big day. Republic day. Just think that they can't type something original at least for this big day. They can't type at lest "Happy R-Day". They will click on the option button and then forward button on their mobiles and send it to all their contact groups saved in the mobile. Fuck !

Thats wat 62th republic day ! Shame !

R u happy ?

'What can one do to attain happiness ?'

Itz a really tough call. But, as far as I think the answer of this question shld be 'drop the unhappiness to be happy'. For this we should find out, wat is da reason of our unhappiness.

As myself is concerned, dere is only 1 thing that causes unhappiness. The name of that thing is 'ATTACHMENT'. Attachment is an emotional state of clinging caused by the belief that without some particular person or some particular thing, I can't be happy.

Attachment is composed of two elements. (as far as me is concerned):
(a) The +ve element: The amount of pleasure & exitement, the thrill that I experience when I get what I m attached to.

(b) The -ve element: The sense of threat & tension that always accompanies the attachment.

Now, wat I feel is, the tragedy of an attachment is that if its object is not attained, it causes unhappiness. But, if it is attained, it does not cause happiness - it merely causes a flash of pleasure followed by weariness, and it is alwayz accompanied by the anxiety that you may lose the object of your attachment.

The moment u become conscious of your happiness, u cease to be happy. True happiness is uncaused.

Nw coming to the world of 'attachment'. There is no way to win the battle of 'attachments' except to 'DROP THEM'. And, I really started dropping them.

Note: I knw many of u wl nt like this post nd even the previous post (freedom vs love). But, wat i was thinking from the last one month or so, i wrote. And i m really strictly adhered to my posts. This is, 'wat i am'. I like the tagline of 'Reebok'. I am wat I am. No argues and no questions plz...........

'Freedom' Vs 'Love'

Just close ur eyes. Meditate for a while. Think of someone whose love u desire. Do u want to b important, to b especial nd make a difference to her life ? Do u want this person 2 care 4 u nd b concerned abt u in a special way ? If u do, open ur eyes nd see that u r foolishly inviting others 2 reserve u 4 themselves, 2 restrict ur freedom 4 their benefit, 2 control ur behaviour 2 suit their interest.
B'coz as I felt nd experienced, the other person says u silently, 'If u want 2 b especial 2 me then u must meet ma conditions. B'coz da moments u cease to live up 2 my expectations, u wl cease 2 b especial.'
So, u have 2 pay a price in 'lost freedom' if u r opting 4 'love' or 'relationship'. "Freedom" nd "Love" can't b together. If u opt 4 the one u wl certainly lose another. If u choose 'Love' then u have 2 dance into the tune of other person.

Don't u think that it is worth paying so much for a little. C'on man don't b emotional.

I would rather say, "LEAVE ME FREE TO BE MYSELF, TO THINK MY THOUGHTS, TO INDULGE MY TASTE, TO FOLLOW MY INCLINATION, TO BEHAVE IN WAYS THAT I DECIDE ARE TO MY LIKING".

U decide, what u want, 'Company in Prison' or 'Walking the earth in freedom all alone'. Some g8 man has said, i quote ; We walk faster when we walk alone ; I unquote. I choose the 2nd one.

Men Vs Women (Part I)

Due to the wiring and construction of the mind of men and women they are totally different. Nobody is wrong and nobody is right at there places. They are just totally different........ Here are some of the points:

• Men dominate TV remote control and flick through the channels, women don't mind watching the commercials.
• Under Pressure men drink alcohol, smoke but women go for choclate and shopping.
• Women criticise men for being insensitive, uncaring, not listening, not being committed to relationship, wanting to have sex rather than to make love, turning the temperature down etc,. Men criticise women about their driving, for not being able to read street directories , for turning maps upside down, for their lack of a sense of direction, for talking too much without getting to the point, for not initiating sex often enough, turning the temperature up, and for leaving the toilet seat down.
• Men can never find a pair of socks but thier CDs are in alphabetical order,. Women can always find the missing set of car keys but rarely the most direct route to their destination.
• If a women is out driving and gets lost, she'll stop and ask for direction. To a man, this is a sign of weakness. He'll drive round in circles for hours, muttering things like, "I've found a new way to get there" or "I am in the general area" like these.
• Women have two X-chromosome, that's why they can describe colours in great details. A man will use basic colour description like red, blue and green but women will talk of bone, aqua, teal and apple greeen etc.
• Women have a wider peripheral vision than men. Men have a good tunnel vision. This is because in ancient years, men were hunters and women were nest defenders.
• Men have difficulty lying a woman face to face. But, as most women know lying to a man face to face is comparatively easy. Most men, if they are going to lie a woman, would be far better off doing it over the phone, in a mail or with all the lights off, and a blanket over their heads.
• Women hear better than men. A woman's brain is programmed to hear a baby cry in the night, where as a father may be oblivious to it and keep on sleeping.
• Men and women's brain have evolved with different strengths, talents and abilities. Men's brain is designed in such a way that they are having a long distance navigation, skills for hitting a target and they lack in coversations and sensitive to anyone's emotional needs and interpersonal skills. Women's brain is designed in such a way that they are good for short range navigation, wider peripheral vision to monitor their surroundings, the ability to perform several activities simultaneously, and effective communication skills.
• Men's brain is configured in such a way that they can concentrate on one thing at a time. Women's brain is configured for multi-tasking performance.
• Men do not want to talk much or show their emotions much. If a girl and a boy attends the same party and after that party we ask to the girl, "how was the party dear"? She will give an articulate recitation of everything wat happened -who said what to whom, how everyone felt about it and what she and they were wearing. But at the same time, we ask the same question to a boy then he will reply that, "Uhhh......! good".
• Male brains are highly compartmentalised, and have the ability to separate and store information. At the end of a day full of problems, a man's mono-tracking brain can put them on hold. The female brain does not store information in this way-the problems just keep going around and around in her head. The only way a woman gets rid of her problems from her mind is by talking about them to acknowledge them. Therefore, when a woman talks at the end of a day, her objective is to discharge the problems, not to find conclusions or solutions.
• For a woman, "To Talk" is to build and strengthen relationships. But for a man, "To Talk" is to relate facts. Here "To Talk" means, talking face to face or in telephone.
• Men need to understand that when a woman talks, she is not expecting him to respong with solutions. Women, need to understand that when a man doesn't talk, that is not a clue that something is wrong or she is being unloved.
• To argue sucessfully, a women uses the words that she doesn't really mean.
• Women are more emotional than man due to the structure of their brain. A women can become emotional while discussing an emotional issue, while a man is less likely to do the same, or he will simply refuse to discuss the issue.
• A woman will be very happy when she will be "adviced" by a man but man hate "advices". He thinks , that he himself can find the better way.
• Woman don't want solutions, they just want to talk about things and for someone to listen it.

Note: These facts are srictly for pure masculine and faminine brain. There may be chances that some of the masculine brain have a little percentage of faminity and some of the faminine brain have a little percentage of masculinty. Then there may be little variations on the facts..

(More to follow in next parts of the "Men Vs Women").

~Broken Relationships~

After reading the novel "why men lie & women cry" by Allen & Barbara Pease. Here are one of the paragraph directly from that book.

"If we look into the ancient history, women evolved as child-bearers and nest-defenders and as a result, female brain became hardweired to nurture, nourish, love and care for the people in their lives. Men evolved with a completely different job descriptions- they were hunters, chasers, protectors, providrs and problem-solvers. It makes sense that male and female brains are hardwiered for different functions and priorities.
              Women write most of the books on human relationships, and over 80% of the purchases are female. To a neutral observer, this may give the impression that women care more about relationships than men. In many ways, this is right. The concept of focusing on a relationship is not a natural part of the male psyche, thinking or scale of priorities. Consequently, men either don't try at all with relationships or they give up early, because they find the way women think and act too complex. It sometimes seems all too hard and its easier to quit early than be seen as failure. But, the truth is that men want good, healthy, fulfilling relationships just as much as women. They simply assume that one day a perfect relationship will come along, without the need for prior study or preparation. Women regularly make the mistake of assuming that just because a man loves her, he must also understand her, but he usually don't."
This is why most of the relationships are breaking in the recent days. Both "men and women" are having different structure of brain and they are different by their thinking, doing the things and all. Both have to understand each other for a healthy reationship.

Why We Respect Sachin's Wife

Inspired by Shobhaa De's Post:

Anjali Tendulkar is like an unblemished english rose. Everybody loves her. I am yet to meet a single person who has an adverse comment to make about Sachin's wife. She is pleasant looking, ever smiling, discreet and admirably low-key. She herself goes to leave their kids to school or to pick up sachin from Airport. Anjali definetely falls into the neighbours envy, owners pride category, even if that format of the idealised "desi bahu"  no longer works for a large number of Urban Indian Families. Somewhere, at the backs of our minds, we secretly admire Anjali for all tha qualities that are fast disappearing in our cities. Anjali gave up a career (she is a qualified doctor) to raise a family. She chose to become a full-time homemaker when her generation of educated women the world over were forging ahead aggressively and shattering glass ceilings at the workplace. She stayed out of the limelight when other wives (Posh Beckham there, Sangeeta Bijlani here) of star sportsmen were busy flaunting their privileged status. She has always dressed in sensible, even dowdy garments, as opposed to super glam couture. She has resisted walking the ramp for any high-profile charity, though she quietly supports quite a few. She, more than any other celeb spouse, has lived the role of a modern day "Pativarta" - silent, loyal and caring. The perfect wife, who has understood her position in marraige and placed her personal priorities on the back burner. No ego. No conflict. Being Sachin's wife never be easy. He can't be around like a regular  family man with a 9 to 5 job. Anjali has never cribbled at least not in public. Her devotion to the man is apparent enough, when she says she doesn't eat a single morsel when her husband is batting. Wow g8.