Saturday, July 17, 2010

Love brings PAIN...

Note : This is the continued part of the previous post (something far than love ; a fiction). I am finding it difficult to use the word "them" for them. (He, She). So, I decided to continue it with "I" (in place of He) and "Anushka" (in place of She). Please don't link this name with anything else. This is a pure imaginary name for this fiction.
Sometimes, Shaking hands is not enough to fill the distance but wiping tears always do wonders. Sometimes Sharing & Caring is not enough but a fight can do miracles. And same happened with us too. (yeah, we had a fight last night for a silly thing). After that fight, I and Anushka realized that we come a long way in such a short span of time. We used to chat for hours, no matters if we skipped our meals for that...No matter if we had to sacrifice our sleeps for our assignments which we were never able to complete on time. BUT THE CHAT MUST GO ON....Earlier, I used to think that I have nothing to do, so lets chat with Anushka. But later I came to know that, I don't do anything as I want to chat with her.
We used to talk about TV Serials ( Though, i am a strong hater of the fuckin TV Serials, but when it comes in between our chatting, don't know why I enjoyed it too), our likings, dislikings (She was always keen for it), our families, and our thoughts on some serious matter. And yeah, everyday we asked to each other about his/her day. We criticized each other, in fact we insulted each other and none of us minded to accept our shortcomings and we changed a lot too. And one day.....

Me: There ?
Anushka: Yeah
Me: I like you.
Anushka: What is this ?
Me: the truth
Anushka: u knw that I don't lyk such jokes.
Me: nd u knw that I don't crack such jokes.
Anushka: R U crazy ? Forget it... Itz not possible.
Me: Don't YOU lyk me ?
Anushka: Of Course, I do but only as a friend, nothing more than that. (I know she lied)
Me: Then why do we talk daily ? Talk to me, just lyk another friend.
Anushka: OK, as u say.
Me: Since today, we should talk on alternatives day.
Anushka: That too is more than necessary. We shall talk on weekends only.
Me: No, u can't do this.
Anushka: I can n u knw it.
Me: Why r u behaving so weired ?
Anushka: Bye. I shall talk to u on saturday, I think. Right now, I have some work. 
Me: I know that u don't have any work now.
Anushka: .............
Me: Are u dere ?
Anushka: ............
Me: Reply yaar. I knw u r reading my messages. Reply...
Anushka: .......
Me: Ok Bye. Once u have decided then u will not reply. I knw, I have to wait for Saturday.

I was not knowing that saying "I LIKE YOU" will change her mood like this, and she will react in this manner. Someone inside me (who always try to make my life complex) always knew that it would ended up like this but this would happen so soon... I never expected......
That night I could not sleep. I was hurt (though, it was a secondary reason) but I was thinking that might be she was right. She wants to be only a friend to me and nothing else. Then why, she talks with me daily. why we skipped our meals just for chatting with each other. why we sacrifice our sleeps. I think these questions wandering like anything in my mind all the night. (and, this was the main reason which was not letting me to sleep).
(To be continued........)

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Something far than love

Disclaimer: This is a pure fiction. Nothing, other than the feeling is related to the dead or live things in this world.
They chatted everyday. Not in G-Talk. Not in Yahoo. Not in Facebook. They had developed their own way of chatting. She cared for him a lot. He wanted her in his life a lot. They know each other from the time, they realise their sense. Though, it was not love between them, it was something far higher, far devotional, far ( sorry, not getting the word actually to express). They never proposed each other, but they wanted each other in their life as one want Oxygen. Though, they meet rarely, they enjoyed each other's company a lot. She liked to sit with him in a bike and go for a long-long-long driving. In fact, he liked the long drives too much. (Specially in bikes). Nobody knows, what their future goin to be. Though, they dreamed of long driving. They dreamed of being very close to each other. They dreamed to hug each other. They dreamed to kiss each other. He dreamed of waking her up with a cup of coffee in the morning. He dreamed of staring at her when she's busy in front of the mirror. He dreamed of a head massage for her whenever she has got a headache (coz she was used to it). She dreamed of  preparing breakfast early in the morning for him. She dreamed to be the mother of his baby. They dreamed to be with each other for the lifetime. They dreamed a million of things. They were happy to discuss about the TV Serials, Reality shows between them. They never talked about love. They never talked about their future with each other. But, They wanted to.

"Hum labo se keh na paaye haal-e-dil kabhi
wo bhi samajh na paaye, khamoshi kya cheez hai..."

I think these lines of Jagjit Singh's Gajal suited best for them. A little difference was that, they both understand "khamoshi kya cheez hai" but they never let it express. However, both of them, was known of this "they wanted each other a lot in their life". Lets wait n watch what is goin to be their future........
(To be continued............)

Monday, July 5, 2010

दिल उदास है

दिल उदास है बहुत कोई पैगाम ही लिख दो
तुम अपना नाम न लिखो, "गुमनाम" ही लिख दो .....
 [ पैगाम = Mail ]
मेरी किस्मत में ग़म-इ-तन्हाई है लेकिन
तमाम  उम्र न लिखो मगर एक शाम ही लिख दो .....

ज़रूरी नहीं  है की मिल जाये सुकून हर किसी को 
सरे-इ-बज़्म न आओ मगर बेनाम ही लिख दो ......

ये जानता हूँ की उम्र भर तनहा मुझको रहना है
मगर पल दो पल, घडी-दो-घडी मेरे नाम ही लिख दो .......

चलो हम मान लेते हैं के सजा के मुस्ताहिक़ ठहरे हम 
कोई इनाम  न लिखो, कोई इलज़ाम ही लिख दो ......
[ मुस्ताहिक  = Deserver ]